Shaving with dad's razor

Larry #1

Dad put me to bed and I did not go to sleep because me eyes could not close. I told him my eyes could not close. Dad used to close the door and I couldn’t leave because I couldn’t open the door but now he doesn’t. Because sometimes I need to pee. I didn’t like it when he closed the door and sometimes I would knock and he’d say go to sleep Larry. Mom also closed the door and said go to sleep Larry. But now they don’t close the door because sometimes I need to pee so I don’t have to knock. I just walk out. They do say go to sleep Larry still if they see me in the hall, or if I try to walk downstairs. They say Larry its time for bed. Or they say Larry we already put you to bed, it’s ok to go to the bathroom but now you have to sleep. But my eyes could not close.

I wear the Yeti jabamas. They have Yetis on them: all over them.

I went to pee and I thought about how yesterday dad shaved. He shaved after a shower and I said why do you shave after a shower and he said because that’s the way it works. The air needs to be steamy you know what steamy means? No I said.

Well it’s like when the water’s hot and it goes into the air. Like during a shower.

Ohhhhhhhhhh I said.

Well that makes it easier to shave. The hair on my face comes off when it’s steamy.

So I was peeing and I thought about how the air was steamy because mom had taken a shower when dad was putting me to bed and I thought maybe the hair would come off my face now. If I shaved it.

Dad’s razor was in a cup on a shelf. It was on the door. It was too high. But I have a step stool for the sink. I moved the step stool over to the door with the shelf. I reached up and I could reach the razor.

I moved the step stool back to the sink. Then I tried to shave. Nothing happened. Then I cut my face. It didn’t really hurt except a little. I saw dad put toilet paper on his face once and I asked and he said he got cut shaving. So I pulled some toilet paper off and put it on my face. Then I moved the step stool back and tried to put the razor back but I couldn’t reach and I thought of yelling for dad but I knew he would be mad that I tried to shave without asking me and cut myself so I just set the razor on the shelf.

It didn’t really hurt. Not really. I was a little scared. But I thought mom and dad would be mad. So I went back in my room and sang a song and fell asleep.

The next morning my brother woke up early and he woke me up. He gets up really really early. When I came out of my room I had toilet paper on my face. And mom said why do you have toilet paper on your face Larry? And I told her I shaved last night and her face got weird. I didn’t know if she was mad or sad or scared.

Dad woke up after breakfast and when he came down and we were playing mom talked to him and she had the weird look on her face and then he had the weird look on his face. And then they said, Larry, you can’t shave. You will get hurt.

And they moved the razor to a new place, I couldn’t find it.